Dating is Dead

(this post first came on 10/4/2011, and you can check out the comments here)

While I can’t speak for anyone over the age of 25, I can assure you that if you are younger than that and you’re trying to get laid, you should not be going out on dates*.

The very concept of going out on dates to get sex, much like other now useless old school ideas eschewed by our generation, has gone the way of the rhythm method. And just like those who think the rhythm method works, those who think they should be dating to get sex are fucked.

When I first left college, I assumed I would have to start learning the art of dating. It was just one of those things you were supposed to do, right? The casual sex and drunken hook ups of college are supposed to be left in the past, memories to be relished by you in your later days as you reflect upon your wild youth. Everyone is supposedly getting more mature, and we’ve been told more mature people are supposed to date. Sure, you could go out to bars have a good time and whatnot, but if you didn’t get the same night lay, then the next couple of days you were supposed to call that chick whose number you got and go on a date and try to seal the deal. Or something like that.

Let me tell you something: I don’t know when our beloved hook up culture expanded beyond college, but it’s here and we’re still living in it.

I began to fully realize this when I made a quick mental catalog of everyone I knew not too long ago, and I realized that there is not a single dude I know who gets laid that goes on dates pre-notch. Not a single one. My boys who are getting that snatch, whether those who got it with one night stands or are in faux-relationships, or even have a girlfriend now, met and banged their girls after a night out. Then, out at bars, I found, much to my enjoyment, everyone around me is doing the same thing going we all did in college- get blasted and roll home with some trim. Things haven’t changed at all.

Furthermore, and expanding on this, the vast majority of the many girls I know (almost all sexually active, red pill that, homie) not a single one goes on dates before having sex, and very few have even been on a date at all. Instead, they have one night stands, and in the cases of those in relationships, they grew out of continuing to see that dude after that one night.

So yeah, don’t worry too much about going on dates, you don’t need them to get laid. Or to have relationships, if that’s your cup of tea. Didn’t need them in college, don’t need them now. But I’m not done yet. Going on dates, in many cases- and I’ve seen this happen a lot already, experienced it myself as well- will hurt your chances of getting laid.

“Who wants to take me out on a date?” our girls secretly think in the nether regions of their hindbrain, “He must really be serious.” And in today’s Brave New World, regardless of how you feel about it, this is a Beta mark to them. Dates are too formal, too serious for most of our girls, they indicate too much “relationship intent”, even if there never was. I have heard girls laugh about dudes who asked them out- not at the dude, but at the idea of a date. One girl I know dropped a loaded former male model she was talking with because he thought it would be wise to ask her on a date. A few dudes I know, all of certifiable game (natural though it may be) have also had girls drop all communications when they suggested going on a date.

It is an illuminating indicator of how much things have changed that young men who want to go on dates are now almost automatically labelled Nice Guyish and laughed at, all of them. Despite what they say in relationship trasheaps columns or in comments at blogs or bitch about to their friends, most of our girls don’t really want to be wined and dined or thinking about relationships or settling down, they want to party with all their girlies and ride some strange at the end of the night. Hell, I know plenty of girls who party more than I do, if you can believe that; getting serious is just not on their radar. And when they finally do get mixed up with a dude, nearly every time it’s that dude that she hooked up with and kept talking to after, who doesn’t want to get serious and would rather party and stay single, as opposed to the dude who wants to take her on dates.

As for us young men, we should rejoice in the reality that dating is dead; accept it, and let it work for you and your snatch slaying ambitions. For me, I get to save money, and I don’t have to block out mildly sober time for dates with girls in order to get it in. Instead, I can invite a prospect and her friends out to meet up with me and the crew at a bar, everyone can get drunk and have a great time, and not only will I have a better time than if I went on date, my chances of getting laid will actually increase. Wins all around, if you ask me.

*- Day game instadates and online vag trolling are the exceptions